Isn’t my whole body pre-cancerous?I didn’t write about this last month because I was dealing with a depression that made me unable to put the right words to things but I’m feeling like I’m coming out of the dark now (KNOCK ALL OF THE WOOD) so now I can tell you that my body is trying to kill me,Continue reading "Isn’t my whole body pre-cancerous?"
01/24/23
It’s Friday and you need thisIt’s Friday and that means it’s time to step into my office so I can show you the videos I’ve been saving for you. They will make you laugh and laughter is medicinal so it’s almost like I’m giving you free drugs. You’re welcome.
01/20/23
Calling all horror aficionados. Let’s get creepy.Do you love tales of things that go bump in the night? Do you celebrate Halloween all year long? Do you lean in to hear ghost stories and own your own EMF detector? Did you sneak Stephen King books under your covers when you were probably way too young and it may have damaged youContinue reading "Calling all horror aficionados. Let’s get creepy."
01/16/23
What to read in JanuarySo first off a giant welcome to new and old members of the Fantastic Strangeling Book Club kicking off our fourth (FOURTH?!) year of reading. Check your packages well because this month we’re slipping in this fabulous pin as a thank you for keeping us in business: (It’s not too late to join this month.Continue reading "What to read in January"
01/12/23
This is not a real post but if you have something you want more eyes on you probably need to read it.Once or twice a year I open up slots for anyone to advertise on my blog and today is that day! I don’t use ad networks or pop-ups any of that stuff because it’s confusing and annoying so instead I just offer flat-rate sidebar ads to anyone with something cool that needs attention. Text adsContinue reading "This is not a real post but if you have something you want more eyes on you probably need to read it."
01/09/23
What was the best thing you read last year?This year I read 120 books, which sounds like “too many” if you are my husband but sounds fine to a reader because THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST. Of course, I have several things on my side, including chronic insomnia, the ability to claim that I have to hide under a tree and read forContinue reading "What was the best thing you read last year?"
01/03/23
This is 49.Today is my birthday. The first person to wish me happy birthday today was a robot who only knows me through my vagina and that’s how you know we live in the future. Also, I told Hailey that and they were like, “Ew. Like a vibrator?” and I was like, “No, an auto-voicemail from myContinue reading "This is 49."
12/29/22
It’s okay to not be okayHey. It’s okay if you’re struggling right now. You are not alone. I’m not sure if that helps or not, but personally I struggle a bit over the holidays and it can be easy to compare yourself to the people who seemed to had their shit together and didn’t spend Christmas morning yelling “Hello?” toContinue reading "It’s okay to not be okay"
12/27/22
StoryworthThis is an ad but I only do ads for things I legitimately adore and Storyworth is 100% one of those places. It is probably the best present I have ever given and if you haven’t used it yet then let me convince you because I desperately wish I could go back in time andContinue reading "Storyworth"
12/22/22
MY INTENTIONS WERE GOODSo I was leaving the bookstore last week and I saw a cat-sized dead animal in the road a couple blocks away which was sad enough, but then I also saw a bunch of little kids getting off a school bus and heading in that direction and I was like, “Shit. What if that’s theContinue reading "MY INTENTIONS WERE GOOD"
12/22/22
Every year I say it will be the last and every year I am a damn liar. WELCOME TO THE ALMOST 14th ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE!Hello and welcome to year 12B of the James Garfield Miracle! “12B?” you ask, wondering if I’ve lost my mind. Yes to both. Because I don’t use the unlucky number so it’s 10, 11, 12, 12b, 14, etc. This makes perfect sense if you have as much untreated OCD as me. “Weird. But cool. ButContinue reading "Every year I say it will be the last and every year I am a damn liar. WELCOME TO THE ALMOST 14th ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE!"
12/14/22
It’s Friday. Step into my office. Again.It’s Friday and that means that you need to come into my office so I can play you all the videos I saved for you this week. Yes, you. Come. Sit on my lap. Let’s do this. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Fail Salad (@failsalad) View this post on Instagram AContinue reading "It’s Friday. Step into my office. Again."
12/09/22
Come read with meSeveral book-related things you might be interested in… First…if you want a signed, personalized copies of my books shipped right to you just click here. If you get your order in by Friday they should arrive before Christmas and I am very happy to personalize them to you or to loved ones, or implicate youContinue reading "Come read with me"
12/06/22
There are four kinds of peopleI used to think there were two kinds of people…those who enjoy seeing how long they can drive their car on empty just to fuck with their anxious wives and those of us who aren’t total assholes, but then last week we ate at Whataburger and my sandwich had onions and mustard on it evenContinue reading "There are four kinds of people"
11/30/22
Be warm. Avoid rug nipples.So two things: View this post on Instagram A post shared by Nowhere Bookshop (@nowherebookshop) And 2. Just in case you missed it (or put it off until later and forgot until now) for the next three days only we’re rereleasing our original limited edition Nowhere Bookshop shirts and hoodies (And yes, that’s mainly becauseContinue reading "Be warm. Avoid rug nipples."
11/22/22
I’m grateful that I’ve never have to do a gratitude journal.One of my friends, Neil Pasricha, is good people. He’s one of those people who understands that sometimes I disappear for months when my brain goes dark but is there to talk for 90 minutes straight when it lights back up. He is one of the few people who can write genuinely happy things thatContinue reading "I’m grateful that I’ve never have to do a gratitude journal."
11/16/22
It’s Friday and I’m cuddled up on the couch so come join me but wear a mask.Today is Friday and that means I have videos for you, but also I’m sick so instead of inviting you into my office I’m inviting you onto the couch where I am currently cuddled up and I am spraying myself with lysol just for you. Luckily it’s not covid or the flu (GET YOUR BOOSTERS,Continue reading "It’s Friday and I’m cuddled up on the couch so come join me but wear a mask."
11/11/22
November is for readingSo last month my Fantastic Strangelings Book Club (CLICK HERE TO JOIN NOW) read Lute by Jennifer Thorne (or at least placed it on our TBR pile with very good intentions to treat ourselves to more reading time) and we talked murders during our online craft hour while I made nipple pasties for the cats.Continue reading "November is for reading"
11/04/22
What should I watch?Today is Halloween so that means I will be watching spooky movies in the background all day long as I work, which makes this pretty much exactly the same as every other day because every day is Halloween if you really want it to be. The real difference is that when Victor walks out ofContinue reading "What should I watch?"
10/31/22
It’s Friday. Step into my office.It’s Friday so that means it’s time to step into my office so that I can share all the videos I’ve been saving for you (yes, you) this month. Ready? View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cat Lovers Family (@foreverkitties) View this post on Instagram A post shared by MEMES • DOGSContinue reading "It’s Friday. Step into my office."